I wanted to become happier and stronger, but why am I getting weaker? – The Sidekick
He is a person who hypnotizes and attracts me to him with just having an eye contact. He’s the social butterfly, the sweetheart that is always there, the one who seems to know exactly when you’re in trouble or when you’re in need of a friend. He’s likable in most ways. I like him since the 3rd semester of college.
But he likes someone else.
I need to write this because I don’t know where to put my feelings right now. I know it’s okay, but saying it can’t measure out the weight in my heart; the weight on my shoulders. We are always learning in life, will forever be learning. I accept this lesson, and I will take responsibility for what has happened. I thank God for intervening in time and for the friends and family who keep telling me it everything will turn out. Because if not for them, I don’t think I’d have any one else to support me. I feel blessed, but at the same time like a sore loser who just cannot do anything.
I have too many feelings inside me, too much pain, and too much sadness. It doesn’t mean I’m a depressed person all times. I have happiness too and many great friends, and the best family. My heart has been touched on a level I can’t describe. I wished someone could have been there to reach out to me, be a wall I could have leaned on but……aaaaah!
I’ve felt stress and more of it has strained me even before I finished college. I’m the type to build barriers so I don’t get any more hurt than I already have. I overdid it. It’s been almost three weeks since I’ve felt any kind of emotion.
Now I just want to forget this feeling. I’m sorry. Thank you for the past 2 years, my life in a mess right now HAH! LOL! I need some encouragement thanks I have a lot of good friends. I need to delete this anxiety because it’s dangerous. For me, anxiety is just something that never really goes away, pops out of nowhere, body trembling, heart palpitations, heavy breathing, random dark thoughts that I imagined in my head called scenarios.
Bye! Go away! YOU! FROM! MY! MIND!